Take wheel off Youngest Son’s bike. So far so good.
Take tyre off wheel. Much grunting.
Push valve into wheel and try to remove inner tube. Valve gets stuck. More grunting.
Finally persuade valve to go through ridiculously small hole. Drag inner tube out of tyre.
Pump up inner tube. Look for hole.
Nothing. Inner tube obviously, clearly, smugly, puncture free.
Push valve back into hole. Five minutes of twisting and pushing later it finally goes through the hole.
Clamp fingers in tyre.
Force inner tube into tyre with a combination of finger prodding and bad language.
Pump up inner tube slightly to avoid pinch punctures
Try to fit tyre into rim.
Try using tyre levers.
Bend tyre levers.
Remember that The Shop has a tyre lever the size and shape of a dinner spoon for just such emergencies.
Take tyre to shop.
Find The Boss playing strategy game on computer. (It was a slow day).
Boss is highly amused and demonstrates how to put a tyre on a wheel without tyre levers.
Pump up tyre in shop, tyre goes flat.
Boss even more amused.
Two customers come onto shop which giving your correspondent the opportunity to slope off home with tyre.
Find two holes in tyre large enough to admit small rodents, clearly made by errant tyre lever.
Find the biggest patch in the repair kit.
Fix puncture, put tyre on without levers as demonstrated by The Boss.
Drop wheel, lose wheel bearings.
Find bearings, put wheel on bike.
Return bike to Youngest Son
Make mental note to stock up on puncture repair patches.