Yesterday afternoon I was helping Eldest Son with his homework, when I was reminded that I had an important appointment, as in: now. As this was the culmination of several weeks telephoning people, emailing, and chasing up contacts, I wasn’t about to let it slip by so after five frantic minutes finding gardening (ie: ‘filthy’) clothes, work boots and gloves I legged it out to my friend who was waiting in his 4×4 with trailer.
The reason for all this activity?
Cow Poo.
Such is the way my life has turned out.
With seventy cows the local farm wasn’t about to suddenly experience a Bovine Excrement Deficit, but it seemed polite to go and check before reversing a trailer up to the pile and loading up. Ringing the bell at the farmhouse got the expected lack of response, but after wandering about for a bit I met an elderly family member. Unfortunately he spoke a very strong version of the local dialect, and was was deaf so we spent several minutes failing to communicate while the farm geese tried to provide translation and encouragement by honking.
I gave up and wandered around to the farm yard where I discovered it had all been unnecessary as there was a queue. A spotless Volkswagen was standing by the muck, and the owner was delicately scooping winter compost into the tiny trailer. As the pile was bigger than the car we figured there was no rush.
When Clean Volkwagen Driver left, we filled the bottom of our trailer with sawdust and then covered this with as much cow produce as we could, which proved surprisingly difficult, cow manure seems to achieve great density when dropped from a crane. We wiggled our way through the lanes to the Very Smallholding, and I offloaded the trailer while my friend drove to the end of the track and made a 37 point turn to get back. On arrival he remarked that the trailer load of manure didn’t look that much now it was on the ground, and I jokingly asked if he wanted to go again. His response of ”Well, we’ve got more sawdust and the trailer needs cleaning anyway” elevated him to a Hero of the Very Smallholding, and we went and got another load.
I now have a parking space full of very smelly stuff, which is possibly the best anti parking deterrent known to man, and now all I have to do is shift the whole lot down the steps and over the the future vegetable beds, in buckets.
And to think some people go out at weekends.
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December 3, 2011 at 9:18 am
Blue Thunder « Railway Misadventures
[...] but as readers of the other blog already know, I’m trying to get a job and collecting vital ingredients for the garden. After five years here I’d forgotten how stressful job hunting is, so I turned [...]
December 3, 2011 at 12:49 pm
disgruntled
very wise not to use the bakfiets for that…
December 3, 2011 at 1:35 pm
Jos Helmer
Be glad it was just cow dung. As a youngster I collected some dung like you, problem was that the farmer also had chickens. He dumped the dead ones also on/in the same pile and we didn’t know/see.
Can you imagine our surprice when we hit the first one!
Gruesome !!!!!!!
Rgds.
December 5, 2011 at 8:42 am
Andy in Germany
@Disgruntled: Yeah, I did wonder about using bags or big buckets and carrying them in the Bakfiets, but I decided that with the wooden box it wasn’t a good idea. There’s quite a climb between garden and farm too. There’s quite a climb between anywhere and anywhere in this area…
@Jos: Eww… that’s enough to put you off gardening for life. Thank goodness for strict German waste disposal laws…
December 5, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Kim
Och, you just need a tarp to line the box…
December 9, 2011 at 8:54 pm
Andy in Germany
Aye, and a motor to move the bike up the hill seven times…
December 5, 2011 at 10:48 am
the_big_smile
This is the kind of work, we call “Scheiß-Job” in Germany.
But wouldn’t horse pooh be better to handle?
December 5, 2011 at 5:01 pm
Kim
Looking at the picture, you might want to let it rot down a bit before spreading it on the veg beds, there is such a thing as too much nitrogen…
December 7, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Nick
I offer you the words an acquaintance once said to me in the days when I did the same thing (it was horse rather than cow I used to shift, but the principle remains): “Ah, but just think of the shit-hot vegetables you’re going to get in return for all that work.” I could perhaps have wished for a slightly amended choice of words, but it was a kind thought.
December 9, 2011 at 8:58 pm
Andy in Germany
@BigSmile: Good description relly: Horseypoo would probably be easier, yes, but I knew the farmer and I don’t have any contacts with the local riding stables. One has a poo pile that is literally as big as a house, but I don’t know who to ask if we can take any.
@Kim: As I understand it, if I leave it on the beds as a mulch for winter, on top of the cardboard, but the spring it will have rotted enough that I can put seeds in there without them getting burned by the nitrogen… Hopefully.
@Nick: Thanks for that… Mind you, I guess it was concise, appropriate, and to the point…
February 25, 2012 at 9:02 am
To do lists. « People Powered
[...] just been checking the January ‘to do list’ and just under “Interviews” and “Collect two trailer loads of poo” I found “Order [...]