It’s exam season, so this week I spent a day and a half building a pine step as practice for my end of year exams.

Exams here are different to how I remember from school in the UK. For starters you can’t just go in and pick up your tools. The first 45 minutes you have to write out your plan for making the item in the drawing you’ve been given. Only after your plan is finished do you get your wood.

You are supposed to follow this plan, or at least try to look like you are following it. I failed, as mine didn’t have instructions like “Discover you drilled half the holes in the wrong place at the end of the first day, and there is no way you can get the thing to go together”. The next item on the list could have been “introduce your fellow students to a few new English words they certainly didn’t learn at school”, because that’s what happened.

Thankfully in a practical exam I can ask for help. After twenty minutes with my tutor I’d been given a crash course in moving holes: there was an easy way and a hard way. Of course the easy way wouldn’t look half as good (meaning lower marks) as the hard way, provided the hard way worked. Of course if the hard way didn’t work, I’d probably fail quite dramatically.

And they say carpentry is dull.

To properly sort the problem I had to drill several new 8mm holes, this time in the right place, the enlarge the four misplaced holes to 10mm, put some 10mm pieces of pine into my enlarged holes, and cut them flush with the rest of the piece.

This done I could then glue the whole step together using the new holes, leaving plenty of time for finishing and sanding before eleven. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, I could drill the new holes in the wrong place, again, enlarge the new holes instead of the old ones, drill clean through the wood and make a mess of the other side, or just run out of time and hand in a pile of badly cut wood.

I solved the problem next morning by asking my vastly more gifted and very patient friend to watch what I was doing and make sure I didn’t make any of the mistakes above, or indeed, find some other way to mess things up. With him there I stopped fretting that I was about to do the wrong thing, which meant I drilled the new holes, enlarged the correct holes, and finished the rescue operation in ten minutes flat.

I even finished on time, and I’ve been given a 2.9 which is “fairly good.” considering there’s a row of former holes where no holes should be, I’m happy with that.

Now I just have to get through theory exams in economics, humanities, and, believe it or not, ethics, do the ‘real’ practical test, finish the final wood theory test, finish the second and final week of the machine course, retaining all fingers, draw the last of the technical drawings, and I’m done for year one.

And if anyone needs some holes moving, let me know…