At any given moment our local council are usually making a hole somewhere so it was inevitable that sooner or later I’d come across one on the way to college and back, but now they’ve excelled themselves and are turning several sections of the town into holes in the ground at once so we can all get a bit of the fun: riding home is currently a Tour de Road works.

One of these happens to be a main road towards Stuttgart, meaning that all those Very Important Drivers rushing into the city may be inconvenienced. This of course is a Bad Thing. The problem, as it was explained to me, is that people rushing through a village at slightly more than the speed limit are much more likely to stop and spend money at the local shops than people walking. Obviously*. Therefore we must be very, very, nice to the Very Important Drivers and not cause them to slow down or they may go away, in which case the village economy will collapse.

To avoid this there has been a no-expense-spared information campaign for the Very Important Drivers so they don’t get confused by the new signs or upset by having to go a tiny bit slower, with front-page newspaper articles showing detailed maps of the town and alternative routes, and massive information boards showing a very rough sketch of a broad tree-lined avenue with wide pavements and lots of pedestrians and busses, and just in case any Very Important Drivers get concerned at the amount of provision for Non-Motorists, an information panel making it clear that “The intention is not to reduce the number of cars travelling through the town”. Translation: “We wouldn’t dream of impeding your mighty progress, mister Very Important Driver. Sir”.

Just to make sure that the VID’s don’t get inconvenienced on their carefully signposted and mapped diversion route, the local bus is no longer allowed to stop there, because people in busses are, well, people in busses, and obviously cannot be allowed to delay cars.

In theory of course, this makes my life easier because I’m riding in the section of town where the diversion is in force, but what our local council forgot -possibly because they think it is still the 1970’s- that drivers have navigators in their cars now, and they very quickly worked out that the diversion wasn’t quite the shortest route around the closed road. Now, residential streets are full of big cars racing about, their drivers intensely focused on pressing the buttons on the little screen in front of them.

Having made it through all this I finally make it down the traffic free section of the way home on a Feldweg, a surfaced farm route open to bicycles and pedestrians, which suprise suprise, the council is also digging up with enthusiasm. Here’s how much warning we got:

diversiononyerown

That’s it: a fence across the road. Well, and a computer printed piece of paper with an arrow drawn on it a bit further back. Obviously there’s no point in spending money on anything more than that, as there are only non-motorists here.

After a lot of pressure the council grudgingly added a diversionary route. You can see it in the picture below. The contractors then made the hole bigger and dug the new path up again.

diveriononyerown_02

I think we can understand where non-motorists stand in our local councils list of priorities.

In this context, when a car came barreling past the “no motorised vehicles” sign at the end of the Feldweg, and bullied their way through the non-motorists all the way between the two villages, only to come to a grinding halt at the gap between the fence and a tree that non-motorists can squeeze through, I was very sympathetic and didn’t laugh. Much.

*Especially as there are very few people walking these days because it is so unpleasant with all the traffic, so we need to encourage the traffic to keep the shops open. Obviously.

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