So I woke up this morning with one ear thoroughly bunged up with wax, a family curse made occasionally worse by having to use earplugs at work. If someone on my left is speaking to me it sounds like “glong, glong chumble mumf wumble …half past two” as I turn my head. Then they go away before I can ask what the heck they were talking about and what is happening at half past two.

I took a couple of days holiday this week do I’m not besieged by children. Although in that case being unable to hear them may be a good thing.

Thankfully our village still has a chemist in walking distance, so I wandered over and had a conversation which went like this:

Me: I’d like something to get rid of ear wax please.

Chemist: Chomble mumpf syringe?

Me: Pardon?

Chemist: (Trying not to laugh) Ears humflug solution and syringe?

Me: Er… yes?

Anyway, I now have a bottle of solution to pour into my ear and a syringe to squirt hot water down there when that doesn’t help.

Here’s hoping that I’ll get that sorted fairly quickly before I have to do much cycling or have important conversations in German, and that I’ll find out what I’m missing at half past two.