I have issues with cell phones. Mind you, I have issues with most electronic devices. If it can’t be fixed with a hammer then it wasn’t properly built is the way of thinking from this grumpy Luddite.

Cell phones are especially bad because they are not only breakable they are also small and have to be carried around all the time. As such mine usually spend most of their working life held together with Gaffer tape. I also long since concluded that smart phones are not good things for the organisationally challenged, especially serial readers who discover Ebooks.

The latest example/victim of this was a cheap ‘traditional’ cell phone which suddenly decided it only needed to bother connecting for a couple of minutes a day. This was just after Beautiful Daughter got hold of the phone and spent five minutes changing all the settings and deleting most of the ring tones, so it may not have been me this time. Personally I could see the advantages to this situation, but society in general and my employer in particular have unreasonable expectations about contacting me, & if I’m paying the phone company for the privilege of making phone calls it seems a bit daft to keep using a phone that refused to do its main job.

In an effort to find a phone that survives longer than six months I ended up looking at “Building Site Phones”. To my frustration the only one I could afford was made in China but it is built along the lines of a brick and so far doesn’t seem to mind being dropped, so I’m hoping the environmental damage caused by shipping a collection of rare metals halfway around the world will be offset by its long service. It also has a torch powerful enough to signal helicopters which proves very useful for navigating around a dark theatre, and a thoroughly obnoxious and apparently unchangeable ring tone which may eventually annoy me enough that I actually look at the instructions to see how to replace it.

Or maybe I’ll just give it my daughter to play with instead.