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Since starting at the farm, I’ve lost a certain amount of bulk that had accumulated in recent years. It seems that all this stomping about, dropping hay bales on each other, running after escaped animals, running away from escaped animals, mucking out, and using heavy machinery is combining with a longer cycle commute* to get rid of some of that excess that is the bane of the over 30’s.

We burn calories faster than we can replace them it seems, which explains why any of the staff not involved in any of the activities above can usually be found stuffing our faces. At first the new staffers were all virtuous and only ate cucumbers or bananas or eco-friendly low-calorie muesli bars** but then we realised that this wasn’t cutting it and besides the muesli bars looked suspiciously like what the horses ate. We don’t want healthy stuff: what we want is chocolate biscuits, lots of them. And cake.

This is rather blindingly obvious of course, along with “washing your hands kills germs” but I wonder if the farm could market our ‘new’ discovery as a health plan: lose weight by working on a Real Farm: €150 a day including bike rental. Cake extra.

*And let’s ignore for now the fact that I avoid the hills by riding on the tram, okay?

**Yeah, right…

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