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Just before the start of the summer break, our college group went out on an end of year outing, and some bright spark decided we could go to an art gallery.

It could have been worse: they were talking about an ‘interactive’ tour which I’ve been on before and didn’t very much want to go on again, or some kind of ‘fun and games’ silliness where the extroverts have a great time and the introverts just put up with it. Instead we went to an art gallery, which was showing an ‘exciting new’ exhibition called ‘soul sickness’ by someone who thinks it is cool to be anonymous, “about how our senses work, and how some people (Which may include the artist, or may not, because no-one knows who he is, isn’t this cool?) have trouble relating to seeing the world”.

I’ve worked in theatre so my expectations were pretty damn low, but this still managed to be worse.

There was the ‘exciting video installation’ that turned out to be a lot of letters mixed up, ‘representing confusion and difficulty seeing the world’ until the ‘aha moment’ where they all switched off and came on a word at a time forming a single sentence repeated dozens of times. While we were getting over this excitement, we were ushered into another room  with  ‘exciting’ ‘sculptures’ of card that were so badly made I could have knocked one up while waiting for the tour to finish with a knife and steel rule (€35 each, value expected to rise into the upper thousands as long as the artist becomes more famous).

There was also rooms to ‘experience’ things like ‘sensory overload’ which I didn’t go into because I have High Sensory Perception Sensitivity, and spend lot of the time avoiding ‘sensory overload’ so I didn’t need to have lots of noise blasted at me in a dark room thank you very much. As one of my colleagues said on coming out, we could have blown the whole budget for the outing on getting drunk, and the results would have looked about the same.

The main (ie: Biggest) sculpture was an ‘exciting’ installation consisting of several large flat slabs of chipboard with varnish applied in a way that would send my carpentry master into fits, with a bit white lump in the middle.representing a tree of dreams, or possibly an ice floe.  Or possibly a computer game environment.* Either way it was really cool…

This was followed by several hours of small talk around a barbecue on a canoe club launching ramp under a motorway overpass, with loud music. providing another session of sensory overload. But that wasn’t art, so it was free.

*Or possibly, as one person suggested, a giant pillar of Pigeon guano…

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